she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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