i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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