...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
