no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
