:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
