You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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