he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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