So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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