hotel room ftw
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize