i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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