Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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