We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize