I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
