I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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