oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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