if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
