well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
