Me. At least after what I've been through.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
