His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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