He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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