Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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