PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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