We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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