Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
