Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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