careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
worst night to have a conscience
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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