just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
