Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
