ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
