Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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