so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
