The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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