Having a random hookup so left but love u
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
