I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
