hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
