i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
