Plan B is the new Plan A
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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