i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
