Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
