I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
