then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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