so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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