i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
