the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize