I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
