She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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