Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
