is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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