everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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