I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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