Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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