we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
