She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize