apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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