omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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