Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
