I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
