I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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