I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
