why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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